False Summits

Believe it or not I used to be an athlete. No…seriously, stop laughing, I was.

I was strong, I was fast and I was even a little agile. But I wasn’t any of those things naturally. What made me an athlete was that I’ve always been ridiculously competitive. I can’t stand when someone THINKS I can’t do something, and if they actually have the nerve to say it…

So I worked harder than most – not harder than all, but harder than most. I strategized and studied. But mostly I just kept fighting until my opponents or detractors gave up

And it wasn’t always enough. Sometimes the other team was too big; sometimes my opponents were too fast. For whatever reason, I just didn’t always have what it took to come out ahead no matter how hard I fought.

A few years ago, as a youth minister in Dallas, I began preparing for TREK when we would attempt to climb Mt. Elbert – the tallest mountain in Colorado. I wasn’t that worried. You see in my mind I am still strong, fast and agile…in my mind. I’m convinced that there is still an athlete in there somewhere – actually it looks like there might be two or three.

So I began working out and jogging. I got in pretty good shape. As we began our trip up the mountain I felt really good. The long hike up to high camp was surprisingly easy and as we got ready for our summit attempt I felt very confident. Unfortunately in my preparation I did not have access to any mountains or high altitude gyms in Dallas. As we moved up to the higher elevations I found myself getting pretty light headed and a few times I even found myself sitting down when just a moment before I’d been walking.

It was very frustrating. I’d prepared! I was ready! And now, uber-competitive Bret looked like a pansy in front of teenagers (who, as you may know are SOOO compassionate and understanding!). What made the whole thing more difficult was the mental fatigue. If you’ve ever climbed a mountain you know there are “false summits” – places that to the climber look like the peak of the mountain until you get there and realize that there’s more mountain on the other side. Elbert had plenty of those little presents for us.

Each time I gathered my strength and pushed on to the summit, only to discover it wasn’t even close to the top, it took more and more out of me. Each new push became more and more difficult to conjure up. By the time we got to where we could finally see the real summit I almost didn’t care any more. Honestly I didn’t care any more – the only reason I creeped up that final stretch was because my competitive side would not stand for the verbal abuse I would have to endure if I didn’t finish.

False summits have almost done me in at several points in my life. They can be more difficult than strong, fast and agile opponents – even more difficult than the lack of oxygen at high altitudes. False summits drain our emotional and psychological reserve, which in turn drains our physical energy as well.

I realize that at some point we need to reach a summit – everyone has different limits, but no one has an inexhaustible supply of energy. As difficult as it can get, we must remember that the summit is there, even if it seems out of reach. The temptation to just lie down and quit can be strong, but we never know if the next ridge will be the final one. What a shame it would be to give up when our goal was within reach. But even that hope can wear thin eventually.

I watched the new Batman movie with Chappotin yesterday. (I’d heard it was pretty good – and I was not disappointed.) One of the lines that stuck out to me was Alfred telling Bruce Wayne that everyone has limits, even Batman. Discovering our limits can be painful…and so can discovering that we can endure more than we imagined.

There are times when we have no choice but to push and push ourselves beyond what we would've thought we could endure. We have to because...well, because we have to. On top of that mountain it was pretty simple. Beyond motivation, preparation or inspiration I had to get up and put one foot in front of the other until we were there. I certainly didn't do it alone - the value of community was brought home in a real sense that day - and without the preparation I had done or motivation to succeed, I likely would not have made it. Yet I was still faced with the choice to continue or quit. Regardless of anything else; difficult circumstances, un-cooperating body, etc, I still had the option to choose my response.

On Bayou Cane

Jimmy Moragne has been telling me about this great place to launch my kayak for months now. This past weekend Jimmy, his cousin Leland and I took our boats (a small aluminum boat w/ a 25 hp outboard, a pirogue and a kayak, respectively) out to Bayou Cane. There are lots of great little bayous around here. The cool thing about this one is that on one side you have Fontainebleau State Park and on the other Big Branch Marsh Natl Wildlife Refuge…very scenic, plenty of wildlife and once you get away from the highway you can’t hear anything but nature. I lost track of how many alligators we saw (most were pretty small but there was one…wow).

We paddled and trolled down the bayou to the lake (Pontchartrain) and fished for a while. We caught several croakers (which I took home and had for lunch!) and some other little stuff. It was a great day – I wish I had been more intentional about taking Jimmy up on his offer to go out a long time ago!

This morning was a really good one for me. I got up early…okay, not really that early, but this is my story, leave me alone. I took my kayak back out to Bayou Cane (that's when I took the picture at the top of this post...floating in the middle of a particularly wide stretch of water). Jimmy and I had talked about how perfect a place this would be to get out early and spend some time in silence and prayer. It was great. (An added benefit, I found out that 1 hour of kayaking will burn about 520 calories…bonus!)

I love the outdoors. I love camping, hunting, fishing, hiking and most recently kayaking. I love to simply sit or walk out in the woods with no real goal or agenda. I used to make fun of bird watchers but I’ve grown to enjoy looking for new birds. I saw an osprey flying by with a fish the other day – that was cool. Not long after that I paddled my kayak right over an alligator that was about 6 inches below the surface, eating a fish (not a good day to be a fish…).

If you’ve spent much time out you know, everything tastes better in the woods (or on the lake, river, whatever). Coffee tastes better. Jambalaya tastes better (living here has affected me in several ways). Fresh fish always tastes good, but cooked outdoors 15 minutes after being caught…

And there is nothing BUT outdoors around here! True we’re just outside New Orleans…but it’s 24 miles across that lake, and up here alligators outnumber people. Within 10 minutes driving distance from my house there’s Riverbend State Park, Fontainebleau State Park, Big Branch Refuge, the Tchefuncte River, countless bayous and of course Lake Pontchartrain. But do I get out and enjoy it very often? No.

Starbucks is a great place for me to study because there are plenty of people there and I get to interact with them. But when I need time for solitude and silence do I head out to the lake front or float the river? Nope…I usually waste time and then as I’m laying down at night I think, “I wish I’d used my time better today.”

Isn’t that interesting? It’s not that I wasted my time doing unimportant things – contrary to popular belief, as a preacher I work a lot. I spend a good deal of time studying, preparing lessons, talking and praying with people, counseling and listening to folks in the midst of crisis…

And I’m usually exhausted; often I’m giving out of my emptiness rather than abundance. Our first year in LA was extremely rough for a lot of reasons. The past year has been much less drama-filled but I’ve struggled with a deep sense of loneliness – its not that we haven’t made friends; we’ve actually made some very good ones. But it’s been hard to be alone in ministry.

Truth be told, much of this is really my own fault. Not that I could’ve done a much about the lack of coworkers, but I haven’t been intentional enough about handling the small things I can do something about. Eating right, exercise, getting outdoors to read and pray (early in the morning when it isn’t a million degrees and the mosquitoes haven’t begun hunting…); all of these things could have really helped. An hour in the kayak once or twice a week could have been doing wonders…if I would just get up early enough to do it!

Okay, what’s the point here? This isn’t just meant to be a rant or self-disclosure. I think that for many of us – especially those in ministry who spend lots of time reading and teaching about spiritual formation – there is a need to remember that God created a beautiful earth (in part) for our sanity and health. We can and should spend a great deal of time and energy serving and investing in others. We can and should be concerned about being a voice of hope to the poor and oppressed. We can and should have disciplined times of study. But perhaps we should also hike or kayak or sit on the porch…or whatever it is that you enjoy. Floating down the bayou didn’t seem like work; didn’t feel like practicing a spiritual discipline, but it was an important opportunity for God to work through his creation to begin refilling my ridiculously empty tank.

Some recent events around here have raised my anxiety and frustration level. I've been trying to shake 'em but it has been very difficult. This morning I didn't think about those things...and when I began to I'd just paddle harder and my less-than-skinny self didn't have enough energy to stress out.

It doesn't make sense that God would create a place as beautiful as this and not desire for us to stop and enjoy it from time to time. I'm going to start doing that more. What about you?

Are They Looking For A Sign?

Self disclosure - before deciding to go to ACU and get a ministry degree I seriously considered working on computer animation and graphic design at Texas A&M (I was highly influenced by bi-vocational ministers who didn't have seminary type training for ministry).

Folks who know me know that I love to play around with logos and designs. I've got some cheap software that lets me dabble and I've even done some stuff for other folks on occasion. All that is to say that I really appreciate communicating through visual media.

We've been incredibly blessed with a professional graphic artist who has donated her time and talent to design us a whole theme packet for our support raising endeavors. Amy's contribution is so valuable because it tells me that folks are connecting with our vision and want to help in whatever way they can. It's also valuable because I know how much it would have cost to have something like this designed!



However, recently I've had the opportunity to reflect on signs and logos and their purpose. Our hope is that our information packet communicates certain things to people - that we're serious and invested in what we're doing rather than just throwing something together on a whim; that we value the visual aspects of community and faith, etc.

What I hope that it does not communicate is that marketing and a professional looking organization is the basis for our evangelism. I hope it does not communicate that our expectation is to create an attractional community - in other words that our evangelistic strategy is "build it so that they will come". We certainly want folks to feel welcome - and to know where to find us if they so choose.

But where evangelism is concerned, I find this word "missional" to be valuable. I realize that this buzzword is sometimes used indiscriminately to mean "progressive" or something like that. For me this word means that our focus is on a community of people who have been called by God to faith and sent by God to invite others to faith as well. Missional means that our primary evangelism strategy is to meet people where they are rather than inviting them to join us where we are. It doesn't mean that we don't invite people or seek for our gatherings to be welcoming and relevant...it just means that there's something more central to our mission than inviting someone to church on Sunday morning.

I will say this though, when things start getting practical, it is very hard to avoid an attractional mindset. We think in terms of programs and events. We think about advertising to the community. We think about signs, banners, websites and yellow page ads. We think about ways to attract people to our building. Again there's nothing inherently wrong with any of this.

But what about when there are groups and agencies with more money that can host better felt needs events? Do we try to compete with the YMCA or social agencies providing the same basic content in their parenting seminar? Sure we want to incorporate a spiritual component...but do we assume that non-Christians are going to choose a program with a spiritual component over something conducted by a social agency? At that point has the program lost its evangelistic focus and become more internally motivated? (which is fine so long as we're aware that it has happened and we're not wondering why our evangelistic event is only attended by members of our church)

What about when teens have their own entertainment and "free pizza and PG movie" just doesn't sound all that attractive? How do we respond then? Do we sit around and lament this new generation that doesn't care about their spiritual life?

Are we counting on a sign by the road to attract large crowds? Maybe it will...what if it doesn't? Does that mean we need to reevaluate the look of our sign? The content? The biblical permission to have a sign? Or does it mean we need to reevaluate our assumptions about evangelism?

I am very much in favor of spending some time and energy making sure that what we do is done well. I like the idea of catchy name, logo, sign or banner. I don't think this is an either/or situation. In the end, I'm convinced that people ARE looking for a sign...



just maybe not the ones we've focused on...