I’ve been thinking about time a lot lately. I had decided that this morning I was going to begin some writing on the subject with a post for this blog and another scheduled for ChristJourneyLife.com on Thursday.
But, then I ran out of time.
So I guess I’ll try to do it tomorrow. That, to me, is the perfect blend of irony and confirmation that this topic is...timely.
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This all sounds wonderful, but I've gotta be honest. I'm not real clear on exactly what mean by the "process of spiritual discernment". I think spiritual discernment must mean that we're trying to decide if that little voice in our head is actually the Holy Spirit talking to us or not...and if it is how and when we should go about doing (or not doing) whatever it is that it is saying. But what's the process? What's involved? Is there a list of steps? What would it look like -- other than involving some confession in the midst of our faith community/church? You've recently asked me to enter into this process with you on several things, and I've realized that I need some clarification...
First, a coded message for my friend who is just waiting to see if I will blog about this:
“Hmmm...I do not think that Word means what you think it means...”
And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
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On a completely unrelated note (sorta), we had a great conversation at our DFW Church Planter’s forum today. For those that don’t know, once a month, there is a gathering of church planters who are connected to (or friends with) Mission Alive and our growing network of churches in the DFW metroplex.
Today, as usual, we had some really good laughs - the kind that left my face nearly purple with tears streaming down my cheeks. It was great. It is good to be with a group which has that kind of synergy and friendship so that the jokes compound on one another, reproducing until they have completely rabbified and take over. I think I may have burned as many calories as I would have had we been playing racquetball!
We also had some great (semi-legitimate) conversations. One which sticks out in my mind was in regards to cultivating communities of discernment. The conversation began with the comment that the type of leader we hope to cultivate and see develop in our churches is not solely (or perhaps even primarily) defined by skills or abilities in regards to some ministry. Rather, we are praying for individuals who listen to the voice of God. Folks who practice a lifestyle of spiritual discernment and following Jesus in such a way that others desire to follow in their footsteps.
As we unpacked what this may look like, how we encourage this type of growth, etc., it came out that the need is for our churches to operate this way communally. We need to cultivate communities of discernment for several reasons. For one, the community should model corporately the same things which we hope to see played out individually.
But even more than that, there is a need for the members of the community to serve one another in this process. There is great danger in individuals engaging in an isolated “spiritual discernment.” It is easy to use the phrase, “the Spirit told me,” to simply rubber stamp what you want to do. A community can help us engage in the process honestly and fully.
Several years ago, when I was first introduced to the concept of listening to the voice of God in a real way, I was blessed to have a friend guide me away from an isolated approach. I said to him, “I really think that the Spirit is speaking to me about this. In fact, I feel that in a way I’ve never experienced before, I’ve heard the Voice of God.”
His response has stuck with me: “Wow. What did your community say when you brought this to them?”
I had no idea what he meant - first of all, my faith community didn’t really do “listening to the voice of God” so I was pretty uneasy saying anything to anyone. He told me, “You should be very hesitant to declare that you’ve heard the voice of God without first approaching a community of discernment. Does this word line up with Word of scripture? How does this word resonate with their hearts and the Spirit which resides in them?”
These types of questions are not meant to shoot down or squelch the Spirit - but they do take seriously the need to test the spirits and discern whether the voice being heard is of God, of the person or of something else entirely.
So how do we go about forming that type of community?
Well, I’m sure there are lots of ways to go about this process. It seems to me that one extremely valuable precursor to cultivating a community of discernment is to nurture and develop a confessional community. When our gatherings and conversations - formal and informal - are marked by a willingness to openly and authentically confess our sins and struggles with one another we create an environment where posturing and creating a polished version of ourselves is neither needed nor even accepted.
I’m not sure all the ways in which this type of culture was encouraged at Christ Journey but it is definitely present. I think that Chris has modeled this type of behavior - both in his preaching and in one-on-one interactions. I really believe that Marvelous Light has been instrumental in this as well - since confession is an integral part of that experience. Beyond that, I believe that those who participate in this community have seen the value and are intentional about continuing to journey (cha-ching) deeper in this practice.
A community which is confessional is poised, I believe, to practice discernment. When we engage in something like Lectio Divina (which we have done in our house churches as well as our Sunday gathering) we experience a process of communal discernment. Together we listen to the Word of Scripture and we share the fruit of that listening with the community. Because of the experiences with confession, this doesn’t come across as contrived and there’s little need to shroud the practice with pretense.
As we continue to engage in discernment at this level, as we continue to be people who live in this fashion, I believe that we’ll find ourselves more and more in a context where communal discernment is the norm. And this is something which gives me great hope and excitement.
I recently had a difficult conversation with a friend. This friend was talking about the slow disintegration of a covenant relationship between two folks he knows. This couple has struggled for quite some time. Apparently one of the two has decided to file for divorce, while the other still wants to work things out. The one who wants to work things out believes that their marriage represents a commitment they made to one another and to God and it shouldn’t be tossed away. But the spouse filing for divorce, for whatever reason, no longer seems interested in or willing to salvage the relationship.
So what should be done? Should the divorce be contested? Should the one spouse simply resign to the other’s wishes? If one spouse no longer has any intention to honor the covenant and is seeking legal dissolution of the marriage, is the other bound to contest and fight this process in the courts?
One bit of counsel that was given to my friend - which I can certainly understand and agree with - is that this person needs to be able to say honestly that they have done everything they know to do to save this relationship.
I have seen the pain caused by divorce and I have seen the pain caused when a one person leaves a relationship without leaving physically. Both can be devastating.
But that wasn’t what really struck me as I thought about this situation. What I kept thinking about was God’s response to Israel. Throughout scripture, primarily in the Hebrew scriptures (or Old Testament), we are shown glimpses of God’s stance towards his chosen people. Just as the Church will later be described as the Bride of Christ, so Israel is often referred to as God’s bride.
We see a picture of a spouse who is willing to remain faithful through countless infidelities. And yet, this husband never forces his affection and relationship on his spouse. He pleads with Israel to return to him, to be restored to the husband of her youth. It is more than fair to say that God continues to fight for his covenant with humanity...but to what length?
I’ve heard it said that one of the powerful things about God, seen explicitly in Jesus, is the willingness to give people the dignity to reject him. Jesus says that his mission is to draw all people unto himself and yet he routinely gives people the opportunity NOT to follow him**.
Then today I was reading a book while waiting to see the eye doctor and I came across a passage which talks about God not being one who “forces his attention upon us.” The book, The Attentive Life, is focused on cultivating a life that is attentive to the Creator and the beauty of His creation - which the author claims is modeled by the Creator in his stance toward all creation.
The amazing thing is that the God who shows himself in Jesus does not force his attentions upon us. He knocks and waits. Jesus was described as the one who does not “wrangle or cry aloud” (Mt 12:19), and the great picture in the book of Revelation shows him knocking at the door of our heart, not battering the door down (Rev 3:21). No wonder Julian of Norwich used to call him “my courteous Lord.”
This is not to say that God gives up on us or that he’s perfectly comfortable letting us ditch him for someone/something else. No, on the contrary, the God we see depicted in Scripture (and the God our hearts long for) is the great pursuer. This God is the one who goes to unbelievable lengths to salvage relationships. This is the God who does not tire in his quest to redeem and reconcile broken and lost things.
Is there a point in a relationship where to continue fighting is to strip the one we love of their dignity to choose us? Is there a point where to continue fighting is to destroy to the very thing we are seeking to save?
It is easy to allow this conversation to become about detached theology (ie: can we construct a legal theological defense for or against contesting a divorce). But that does not do justice to the matter. This conversation is about real people in real pain and I believe that there is no easy solution.
What I do know is that this conversation has led me once again to consider the value of community and the deep need for authentic relationships. Whether between a person and God, a person and their spouse or between a group of people seeking to share life in the Body of Christ, there is no denying the pain that isolation and separation can bring.
Just a couple weeks ago Chris had a conversation with a friend who spoke of an ongoing pain resulting from separation from a bad “break up” with a church several years ago. As Chris described the conversation to me, which sadly ended in someone maneuvering to exclude another from community, it sounded very similar to a marriage breaking up - and the pain from this event several years ago, is still very fresh.
We have to take these relationships more seriously. We need to understand that there is much more than religious platitudes behind the admonition to “in humility, consider others better than yourself” (Phil 2:3). We need to realize that there is much more than check-list morality behind Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount which teaches us to consider more than just our actions, but the way we think and how we look at people. How we relate to one another is of extreme importance.
We have been called to join with God in redeeming creation and creating a new and lasting Kingdom...one where the true, close and deep relationships of the Garden are restored and experienced once again.
In the meantime I hurt for the couples who are at the end of their rope and I pray (on their behalf as well as my own) the words of Psalm 70 “Hasten, O God, to save us; / O Lord, come quickly to help us.”
**For instance in Luke 9:57-62 where Jesus seems to dissuade 3 different individuals from becoming his disciples.
